Thursday, March 21, 2013

Boomer Break-Up

My girl friend broke up with me because I'm unemployed.  She left me for a man that has not one but two pensions -- one as a retired police officer and the second for being a shop teacher.  All this information was conveyed to me while we were lying together in bed.  Talk about feeling inadequate!  I guess the pension today is the new gold standard.

The problem is I'm so sad -- even "despondent" -- don't you love that word?  My friends, however, don't really care what I'm feeling.  But I know what they are thinking ... that at age fifty-eight I should be more concerned about my colon than my heart.

But I am heartbroken.  Still, when my friends look at me, they don't see a vibrant man.  They see someone who is no longer viable. Someone who should be rejected -- even by Viagra.  To them, I'm just a "Dead Man Walking."  Hunched over and not even erect.

The men at my health club -- at least the guys my age -- are talking about their prostate and pensions.  But I don't have one so I changed the subject and told them that I lost my love and my soul mate.

Only one guy sympathized with me: "Let me guess -- to cancer?"

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